A classmate whom I sat with for 6 classes at the back of the class said that she should be sitting in the front. Her reasons are that a friend of hers is persistently telling her to join him at the front and that she believes that she can focus better on the front which I feel it could have been the same if it were at the back because it is not that far from the lecturer, the room isn’t that big.
But I was super polite and totally fine with her leaving me dry at the back while she goes off with the others when I knew she wants to be much closer to them than she ever was with me.
This crap of people who I am SOOO awfully nice with just loves it to leave me out once they find a better and cooler crowd to be with. I thought this would be over when I am in my postgraduates but a situation like this is rising again.
I refuse to think that I am boring or that I would be a loner without her because frankly, I didn’t find her that interesting either. I just sat with her cos it started off that way. I may be acting irrationally but I went through a bunch of this melodrama in the past that it is giving me trauma at this point. and the potential of it happening again is giving me so much anxiety and if it really does happen. How can I overcome this so I won’t be bothered by it, and I can go off on my own?
But I hate the anxiety of now that I am sitting alone. Will people judge me? Although I really don’t mind being alone, as an introvert I enjoy my own company but for one with social anxiety, the fear of judgment from others begs to differ.
I know this isn’t really an introverted sort of thing although it does play a part a little. This is more of social anxiety, and I could really use some support.
I am left with 4 classes. What should I do? How do I overcome this? To make me feel that it’s okay.
I would talk to a good therapist. There is a lot that can be done about anxiety.
All the very best!