Anxiety Stories

I’m 43, I’ve Been in Long-Term Relationships and I’m a Virgin By Choice

In her new book “Halal Sex,” Sheima Benembarek shares personal stories of Muslim immigrants and their relationships to sex and sexuality. In this chapter, Taslim, a virgin in her forties, shares her experience with inter-faith relationships.
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For three years I denied my body the nutrition it needed. My teeth broke, my hair thinned, my periods stopped. But, in that too-small body I was praised…

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting since 2020. Most of that reflection is done in the mirror, incidentally. For more than three years I had denied my body the nutrition it needed to function. My teeth broke, my hair thinned, as I did, and then it fell out in loud clumps in the shower. My periods stopped as my body tried to distribute the few calories I was giving it to my vital functions. My blood pressure plummeted. My social life disintegrated as I turned down offers of gatherings out of fear there would be food I couldn’t avoid. My feet bled in my shoes from excessive walking. I ruptured a tendon in my fist from over-exercising. I was constantly cold and miserable. But I was beautiful. They said.

For three years I denied my body the nutrition it needed. My teeth broke, my hair thinned, my periods stopped. But, in that too-small body I was praised… Read More »

Why I stopped using antidepressants after 12 years — and went back on them again

Picture this — floating lazily on a canal boat in Amsterdam on a beautiful summer day with my teenage children, on our way to the Van Gogh museum. We’d been cycling around the Vondelpark in the sun, and would later see a Banksy exhibition. A perfect day. Except I was pulsing with anxiety, and trying to hide it from my kids.

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