For three years I denied my body the nutrition it needed. My teeth broke, my hair thinned, my periods stopped. But, in that too-small body I was praised…

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting since 2020. Most of that reflection is done in the mirror, incidentally. For more than three years I had denied my body the nutrition it needed to function. My teeth broke, my hair thinned, as I did, and then it fell out in loud clumps in the shower. My periods stopped as my body tried to distribute the few calories I was giving it to my vital functions. My blood pressure plummeted. My social life disintegrated as I turned down offers of gatherings out of fear there would be food I couldn’t avoid. My feet bled in my shoes from excessive walking. I ruptured a tendon in my fist from over-exercising. I was constantly cold and miserable. But I was beautiful. They said.