This is not something that he knows about, nor do I let affect me in front of him. I hold it together and cry in private.
I have serious abandonment issues and serious indications of BPD. I already have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and OCD.
Anytime my boyfriend makes me feel ignored or unworthy, my first thought is to kill myself, or that my life is meaningless or anything along those lines. I genuinely sink into a hole of depression and can’t move. It consumes me.
He plays video games while I am at his house? … He doesn’t call me when he says he will? … He stops holding me in bed? …
I can’t keep living like this.
I am very sorry to hear what you are experiencing.
Please talk to a professional as soon as possible! That is really important. You can learn how to feel well, and you absolutely deserve to feel well.
Hoping that you will feel better soon &
All the very best,