Is it normal to be this depressed all the time?

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I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression since I was a kid. I’m going to be turning 31 next year. I have taken antidepressants in my early – mid 20s and although they helped, the side effects on my body and autoimmune disease were no longer tolerable. About 7 years ago I went a more holistic route and changed my entire lifestyle. I try to workout, eat healthy, take the right natural supplements, work with a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner and take herbal supplements, get enough sunlight, spend time with my dog, take time for myself etc etc etc…. I do every single non pharmacological approach to depression possible, yet I’m still deeply depressed.

I went through a really traumatic (for me) break up at the end of 2019. I have since worked with a therapist and through stuff myself to try to heal it all. It was a break up that brought up a lot of past traumas for me from my childhood and growing up, and just the way I was treated by this man and his family was terrible. It’s really effected me since. I literally sobbed every single day constantly for a year and a half. I can’t date because I just feel like I have nothing to offer and that my body is disgusting (thoughts he and his family put into my head because I had gained some weight). I’m doing much better now, but it still breaks my heart to think of him and everything that went on.

Regardless, I thought I was doing really well. But it jut seems like I am always sad and miserable and depressed. I don’t have the life I wanted or expected for myself or tried to build for myself. I try to take that as a positive like I can build my life how I want to, but its still very sad and very lonely.

Is it normal to be this depressed and sad all the time if you’re working through your bullshit and doing every approach to try to make it better? I feel like in the back of my mind theres constantly this thought that I am crazy and that it isn’t normal and that there is something severely wrong with me.

I apologize for the long paragraph.

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Dr Jonathan Haverkampf:

No, you shouldn’t have to suffer that much. I would say much depends on the quality of the psychotherapy. Working with a good psychotherapist should get you to a point where what happened becomes merely a memory that may at times still elicit some mild feelings but no longer controls the quality of your life.

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