Uncertainty
In life, one has to live with uncertainty. Uncertainty just means that there is no manual in the beginning, and there are still unknowns which leave room for excitement and exploration. Life is a learning experience. You may suffer from anxiety but, at the same time, have areas in life where you can thrive on excitement. There may be other areas where images of worst-case scenarios cause you to freeze when you just consider a change in action or any action at all. Uncertainty seems to be bearable in some areas and avoided in others. Often, the areas where it is not tolerated feel meaningful only to the person suffering from anxiety.
To someone suffering from anxiety, uncertainty is often filled with more negative imagined outcomes. In a study on four groups of students (low-anxious, repressor, high-anxious, and defensive high-anxious), evidence indicated that the high-anxious and defensive high-anxious groups were unrealistically pessimistic about some examination-related events (they possessed an interpretive bias for such events), whereas the repressor groups were unrealistically optimistic about some examination related events, showing an opposite interpretive bias. (M. W. Eysenck & Derakshan, 1997) In other words, counteracting the anxiety by repressing it is also not a successful strategy. The goal needs to be able to live life without experiencing debilitating anxiety, a goal that can be reached through therapy.
A Vicious Cycle
Anxiety interferes with communication with others and oneself, which can lead to even more anxiety and even worse communication. A vicious cycle results. One problem with anxiety, and particularly social anxiety, is that communication, which could lower uncertainty and anxiety, is what becomes feared and disabled as a consequence. However, communication is not only reduced in quantity but also in quality. Less adaptive communication patterns and channels are used as a consequence. According to anxiety-uncertainty management (AUM) theory, the effectiveness of communication is a function of individuals’ abilities to manage their uncertainty and anxiety. To confirm an important prediction of AUM, Gudykunst and Nishida investigated the effect of anxiety and uncertainty on the perceived effectiveness of communication in two relationships, strangers and close friends, and two cultures, the United States and Japan. The results indicated that there was a moderate, negative relationship between anxiety and attributional confidence, the inverse of uncertainty, across relationships and cultures. The results also reveal that anxiety negatively predicted perceived effectiveness and attributional confidence positively predicts perceived effectiveness across relationships and cultures. (Gudykunst & Nishida, 2001)
Interpersonal and Feeling Uncertainty
Anxiety requires a certain amount of uncertainty. It often occurs in situations when there is uncertainty about external events or situations, often interpersonal ones, or uncertainty about one’s own feelings, mental or physical states. Without uncertainty about oneself or the world around there is no room for anxiety. However, it is impossible to achieve a state of complete certainty, which would also make any change or progress impossible. The environment does not even have to change to make changes in the individual necessary. For example, if one develops greater insight into something in the environment or in oneself, changes in one’s thoughts, perspectives, behaviours and interactions may become necessary. Change helps people not only to survive but also to make the best out of their place in the world. The more open an individual is to change and the easier it is for one to implement the change, the less reason there is for anxiety. Accepting that there is a level of uncertainty in life makes it easier to develop the tools to deal with it. This raises self-confidence, the sense of efficacy in the world, self-awareness and lowers anxiety.
Information reduces uncertainty, and communication is the mechanism which provides information. Meaningful information has the potential to bring about adaptive and beneficial changes in an individual, even if it only leads to a change in perspective. The information can be about the environment or about oneself, come from the outside or the inside. Communication-focused therapy (CFT) has the objective to improve internal and external communication to lead to a reduction in mental health symptoms, greater satisfaction and contentment, as well as greater success in the world to get one’s needs, values and aspirations met. Especially in cases of anxiety and panic attacks, an ability to deal with and integrate uncertainty into one’s life is very effective in reducing the symptoms.
Interpersonal Uncertainty
Managing uncertainty and anxiety are, according to AUM outlined above, central processes that affect our communication with strangers and that the anxiety and uncertainty that we experience when we communicate with others are related to each other. In a study by Duronto and colleagues, anxiety and uncertainty were associated with avoidance in communication with strangers from both the same and different cultures. When studying communication between strangers of a different culture, anxiety and uncertainty were found to be associated with one another. Nevertheless, anxiety and uncertainty were not related to each other in communication between strangers of the same culture. These results provide partial support for the AUM theory. (Duronto, Nishida, & Nakayama, 2005)
A study by Witt and colleagues examined the relationship between public speaking anxiety and physiological stress indicators at four different milestones or stages in the delivery of a public speech. Specifically, public speakers’ gastrointestinal body sensations were compared at different times and across different levels of psychological trait anxiety. Results indicated significant differences in both the magnitude and the patterns of somatic responses between high- and low-trait-anxiety groupings. First, as the groups of speakers moved from anticipation to confrontation, their somatic responses changed in opposite directions. Subsequently, high-anxiety speakers reported a significant increase in stress symptoms immediately after the speech had ended, indicating anxious remorse or fear of negative evaluation. These findings provided important new information about speech anxiety patterns, particularly as they differ in high- and low-anxiety speakers. (Witt et al., 2006)
Even a beginning therapist can be very good when he or she is interested and inquisitive, reacts to situations with the desire to find out, and is creative. You should have the feeling in the therapist’s office that this is a safe and free space where you can talk about the things that matter to you. Creativity means that your therapist should be able to respond quickly to your needs and what happens in therapy. As mentioned, the communication between the two of you is where the work is done. By looking at communication patterns, your therapist will help you. Communication is the tool of change. Working with communication patterns is how work is getting done.
Going Beyond Anxiety
The starting point of therapy is the symptoms you are experiencing now. However, the ultimate goal is to help you rediscover your meaning, direction, and happiness in life. When we do things that align with who we are, our needs, values, and aspirations, we will experience less uncertainty. And thus, we feel less anxious. We do what we love and live in a world that makes sense.
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