By Dr Jonathan Haverkampf · Adult English resource · Version 1.0 · 21 October 2026

Free to read worldwide, without an account or appointment. Choose one example that feels useful; there is no exercise to complete or information to submit.

Sometimes you know what would make a situation more manageable, but finding the words is difficult. You do not need to tell your whole story to make a small, clear request. These examples are for adults at work, in study or in everyday activities. Choose what fits your situation and leave the rest.

Start with the situation and one request

You might ask for something in writing, a quieter place to talk, or a moment to think. A request can be ordinary and specific:

“There are several things to finish. Could we agree which one comes first?”

“I take things in better when I can read them. Could you send the main points in writing?”

“Could we talk somewhere quieter? It would help me follow the conversation.”

These are possible starting words, not a test of confidence or a guarantee that someone will agree. Clear, respectful requests are consistent with CCI’s guidance on assertiveness. The examples here are original, not a tested intervention. [1]

Choose a person and a way of communicating

A trusted colleague, supervisor, tutor, student support worker or another safe person may be an option. A short written message may suit you better than speaking. Consider who can actually help, and how private the conversation or message will be.

You can ask, “Who would see this information?” before sharing personal details. Formal support processes may ask for additional information; ask what is needed and why. You do not have to practise disclosure with someone who is abusive or unsafe. If you fear consequences, seek confidential advice from a suitable local support or advocacy service first.

Leave room for a pause or a different answer

“Give me a moment to think.”

“If that is not possible, what could we try instead?”

“Could we write down what we have agreed and when we will check whether it helps?”

If words do not come easily, you can show a brief note. Communication support and disability accommodations are useful supports, not habits you have to give up to prove you are coping.

Your needs are not a personal failure

Workload, bullying, discrimination, inaccessible environments and lack of support can affect mental health. A conversation may help clarify a request, but the responsibility for a safer environment does not rest on your wording. WHO recommends changes to working conditions and appropriate support as well as individual care. Available services and formal arrangements vary by country and setting. This sheet is not employment or legal advice. [2]

Afterwards, choose the next useful step

You might note the practical agreement, speak with a trusted person, or return to another activity. You do not need to give yourself a score for how the conversation went. If anxiety persists or limits your life, discuss it with a qualified mental health professional or local primary care clinician. You could say:

“I spend a lot of time worrying before and after ordinary conversations. It is making work or study harder. Could we discuss what support might help?”

Assessment and treatment should reflect your needs and circumstances. These prompts do not replace that care. [3] For immediate danger or inability to stay safe, contact local emergency services; for urgent mental health needs, use your local urgent clinical or crisis service.

Sources and review

Centre for Clinical Interventions: Assertiveness. Clear, respectful requests. Page last updated 21 October 2019; checked 21 October 2026. The examples here are original prompts, not a validated intervention.
WHO: Mental health at work. Updated 15 September 2026; checked 21 October 2026. Working conditions and support matter alongside individual care. Formal arrangements depend on your country and setting.
NIMH: Social anxiety disorder. Revised 2025; checked 21 October 2026. Guidance on seeking professional help when anxiety interferes with everyday life; its service listings are specific to the United States.

Educational information, not individual assessment, treatment or employment/legal advice. Publication authorised and sources checked 21 October 2026. You may share the page link or unchanged copies with the source and safety notes.