A free practical resource: Supporting someone who is struggling. Read it here or save a two-page PDF. No sign-up.

You can care deeply about someone and still feel exhausted, worried, resentful or alone. Needing support does not cancel your care for them. If looking after a family member or friend is becoming difficult, one useful starting point is to name the part you cannot keep managing on your own.

If someone is in immediate danger, cannot stay safe, needs emergency medical care, or is about to harm themselves or another person: call 112 or 999 in Ireland. Elsewhere, use your local emergency number. Routine appointments, contact forms and this website do not provide emergency care.

If you cannot make a voice call in Ireland, see the official emergency SMS to 112 route for Irish mobile networks and instructions. Texting is slower than a voice call; include your location and the help needed, and do not assume receipt until you receive a reply.

Make one practical request · Find carer support · If you are a young carer

Begin with the part that feels hardest

Perhaps it is broken sleep, paperwork, personal care, repeated worry, money, or being unable to leave the house. You do not need to explain the whole situation before asking for a conversation. If helpful, try one of these openings:

“I cannot manage all of this safely on my own. Could we work out what practical support is available?”

“I need help with one thing this week. Could you help me make a call, arrange some food, or look at support options with me?”

Make the request as small and specific as fits your circumstances. Someone may be able to do one task even if they cannot take over the caring role. If family or friends cannot help, tell a relevant professional or carer-support service; you do not have to keep making the same request alone.

Rest needs a workable plan

A short pause may help, but advice to “take a break” can feel hollow when someone depends on you. Ask about suitable cover, respite or a review of support needs. Arrange appropriate cover for essential care where possible. If you cannot provide necessary care safely today, contact the person’s care team, GP or relevant service promptly and explain what is happening. If you are in danger, seek safety and emergency help; do not put yourself at risk to continue providing care.

When things are calmer, you could ask who to contact if you become ill or unexpectedly unavailable. A plan should involve appropriate adults and services. You are entitled to ask questions about what is realistic; this page cannot establish eligibility or guarantee replacement care.

Support in Ireland

Family Carers Ireland has a National Freephone Careline, 1800 24 07 24, and local support routes. You can ask about practical support, caring concerns and options in your area. Its counselling information explains how to enquire through a local Carer Support Manager. Ask about availability and suitability; a place or immediate response is not guaranteed.

If phone calls or private video conversations are difficult, Family Carers Ireland’s Careline page lists non-urgent online enquiry and callback options. Ask about communication or access needs, including cost, transport, language, hearing, disability or having no private space. Share the information needed with the appropriate service; avoid posting another person’s health details publicly. Online enquiries do not provide emergency care.

If money adds to the strain, the money-pressure guide and free and low-cost counselling guide offer further routes. If you feel frightened, controlled or harmed, use the abuse-support guide; you do not have to treat an unsafe situation as an ordinary communication problem.

If you are under 18 and helping at home

You deserve time, support and care yourself. You should not have to manage an adult’s crisis on your own. Tell a safe adult, such as a teacher, GP or another trusted person, that caring is affecting you. If someone at home is unsafe to approach, choose someone outside that situation.

Family Carers Ireland’s young-carer information describes support for young carers and young adults. In Ireland, you can also speak with Childline: freephone 1800 66 66 66 or online chat, 24 hours a day. Ask a service about confidentiality and any consent requirements before sharing details you are unsure about.

There is room for your own support

If your sleep, mood, health or ability to cope is being affected, speak with your GP or a qualified mental health professional. For a listening ear in Ireland, Samaritans is free on 116 123, day or night. Text About It offers text and WhatsApp options; HSE lists HELLO to 50808. Check the provider for network alternatives; its alternative SMS number may incur standard charges. The HSE urgent-help page explains clinical crisis routes.

For private support with Jonathan, explore psychotherapy and counselling, fees or appointments. These are routine care options. You can use the free information here without booking.

Educational support, not an assessment, care plan, legal advice or emergency service. Sources checked 23 September 2026: Family Carers Ireland, Childline and HSE pages linked above. Read the website disclaimer.

Free practical resource · 2 pages · No sign-up

Supporting someone who is struggling

A practical guide for friends, family and other trusted people. Choose what is useful to you; you do not need to complete every prompt.

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Supporting someone who is struggling

You can offer care without having all the answers

It can be hard to know what to say when someone matters to you. A patient conversation or a small practical offer can be a place to start. You are not expected to diagnose them or put everything right. [1, 2]

1 Open the door gently

Choose a private, comfortable moment. Try: 'I've been wondering how things are for you. Would you like to talk, have some company, or leave it for another time?' If they are not ready, let them know they can come back to you. [1, 2]

2 Listen before looking for answers

Give them time and let pauses happen. Try: 'Which part has been hardest?' Check your understanding: 'Have I understood that correctly?' Avoid comparisons, quick diagnoses or pressure to be positive. Ask before giving advice. [2, 3]

3 Make one specific offer

Offer something you can realistically do: bring a meal, sit with them during a call, or go with them to an appointment if they want. Ask what would be useful rather than taking over. [1]

Words you can adapt

Would listening help most, or would you like us to think about one practical next step together?

One offer I could make, with their agreement

Optional: reflect quietly or make a private note.

4 Agree what happens next

You might ask: 'Would a check-in tomorrow suit you?' Be clear about when you can be available. Encourage other sources of support so neither of you has to carry this alone. [1, 4]

A next contact or check-in we could agree

Optional: reflect quietly or make a private note.

Keep their story private. If you are worried about their safety, use the guidance overleaf; do not wait for a planned check-in in an emergency.

When more help is needed

Take their safety seriously and include your own wellbeing

Ask clearly if you are worried about suicide

You can ask: 'Have you been thinking about suicide?' Asking directly does not put the idea into someone's head. Listen calmly and take what they say seriously. You do not have to assess or manage the risk alone. [4]

Act on immediate danger

If someone may act on suicidal thoughts now, has seriously harmed themselves, or cannot stay safe, call 112 or 999 in Ireland; elsewhere call local emergency services. Stay with them if it is safe, or get someone safe to be with them while help comes. Follow the emergency operator's advice. Do not put yourself in danger. [5, 6]

Bring in professional support

Suicidal thoughts still deserve prompt professional help when danger is not immediate. Contact a GP, out-of-hours GP or their mental health team together if possible. Severe deterioration, new voices or unusual beliefs also need assessment. Do not promise secrecy about a serious safety concern. A calm conversation alone is not proof that the risk has passed. [4, 6]

You need support too

You can care and still need rest, boundaries and help. Try: 'I can talk until eight. Who else could you contact afterwards?' If you feel threatened, get to safety and seek help. [1, 4]

Listening support in Ireland

Call Samaritans 116 123 or text HELLO to 50808 (Text About It), free, day or night. You can reach out if worried about someone else, too. Elsewhere, use local listening services. These do not replace emergency care. [6]

Sources and further reading

These sources inform the guidance; this is not a substitute for suicide-prevention training or professional assessment.

You are welcome to share the link or an unchanged blank copy. Keep personal notes private. There is no need to explain why you are sharing it.

More free resources: jonathanhaverkampf.com · Version 1.1, 2 October 2026. Sources checked 3 October 2026.

General information and support for adults. Not a substitute for professional assessment, advice, treatment or emergency care. Immediate danger: call 112 / 999 in Ireland, or local emergency services elsewhere. Find support · Full disclaimer.